Last week was a crazy and drama filled week. From the bounce castle to the naps, everything was revolving around Corinne. No surprise, everyone seems to be super hung up on her still. Let’s get into what happened this week.
Where do we start?
Exactly where we left off. Nick and Vanessa are having their deep and meaningful conversation. In all reality I think she is too good for him. She’s holding the ultimatum over his head of “Send Corinne home, or I’m walking.” Nick appreciates everything she has said, asks her to keep her one-on-one rose and be “patient with him” in how he deals with Corinne. What I understand here is “I appreciate your concern, I’m probably not marrying that chick, but I want to get it to the point where I can sleep with her.” Honestly Vanessa, get out of there, you’re too smart and too sophisticated for him!
In the meantime, Sarah and Taylor approach Corinne about her “nap” saying that they felt disrespected and that Corinne needs to pull herself together and start appreciating the other girls and letting them do what they need to do. Corinne responds with “I am not privileged in any shape or form” wow… this made me laugh. I feel like she meant it in a different way. She is a spoiled little rich white girl from Miami, who automatically got a good job because of Mommy and Daddy, she has an assistant, whom she refers to as a Nanny (I want Corinne to last until hometowns because I so desperately want to meet Raquel). I think she meant in that instance though, that I’m not doing anything that any of these other girls should be doing. I’m going for what I want and fighting for it. Wrong choice of words hunny sorry!
During the rose ceremony, at least everyone was present this week. We know for sure that Daniel L., Vanessa, and Rachel are safe, getting the roses during the dates last week. To continue the list Nick gives roses to the following women, in the following order: Raven, Taylor, Whitney, Kristina, Jasmine, Alexis, Astrid, Danielle M. (who is also way too good for him…more on that later), Jaimi, Josephine, Sarah and pause for dramatic build up Corinne of course. –Nick still wants to sleep with her.- The girls who went home were: Christen and Brittany… which one was Brittany again?
After the rose ceremony, Corinne decides to give a toast. I’m a little proud of what she says. “I just wanted to say, that all of us are privileged and honored to be here”. This goes back to her point above, I don’t think she was saying she doesn’t live a privileged life, but she doesn’t feel more so than any of the other girls. She isn’t the most eloquent, half the time she opens her mouth she reminds me of Karen from Mean Girls. At this point the other girls in the house are pretty pissed the Corinne is still there, so her little soliloquy isn’t making matters better.
After the Rose
It’s time to leave the Mansion. The girls are told to pack their bags, because they are headed on a whirlwind of a trip to the beautiful, stunning, romantic…..Milwaukee? As soon as the girls find out they are giddy and rush to pack their bags, you see them just stuffing their suitcases and of course you have the montage of them travelling and doing funny little things at the airport and during the trip. Oh those funny and spur of the moment girls (READ. Wow how much more can the producers try and make them look fun and spontaneous?)
While we wait for the girls to arrive, Nick has a reunion with his parents. His mother cries and tell Nick how much she just wants him to find love like she and his father did. I’m pretty sure that they didn’t fall in love while competing for attention and have to get engaged after barely a month. Just saying. Nick’s dad seems tired of all the cameras and doesn’t want to be on TV anymore.
Nick meets the girls in the park and describes how much this little town means to him. How many memories he has and how special everything is to him. Barf, snoozefest, let me know when things get interesting again. Anyways, Nick tells them that there will be a few dates this week and that they all have their own special tie to his home and life. Nick immediately grabs Daniel L. for their one-on-one. He takes her for a walk in the park. Kind of romantic and they get into stories of their lives. Honestly, I wasn’t interested in much they were talking about at this point.
From there, Nick takes Daniel on a walk through town, where low and behold, his ex is waiting casually and unknowingly sitting on the other side of a window. Nick invites her outside to talk. She gets mic’d up and they have a conversation. Danielle even mentions how nice it was to “bump into his ex” and see how much on good terms they are. I dunno, I’m not on good terms with my exes, I don’t want to see most of them. Just me though.
After, that intriguing (READ. Boring) encounter, they go on the evening portion of their date. I always forget how freaking long these dates are. They sit down on a couch and are ready for a good “heart-to-heart” and I say it this way because damn her boobs were out to play. Like seriously if her hair wasn’t in the way I’m sure her right nipple was popping out. This date however just gets more and more boring. Nick talks about how perfect and unflawed she is, but she admits that she goes grocery shopping in sweatpants… Oh the horror… and then that her biggest flaw is that her parents are divorced? Since when is someone else being divorced a flaw on you? She then backs it up by saying that she’s “worried she will never find the “one”” and all that bullshit that at least one girl has to mention every season. Nick is enamoured, they make out and he takes her to a Chris Lane concert, where again they grind on stage with everyone watching.
The Group Date
Back at the hotel/cabin/wherever the girls are staying, they get their next date card and surprise, surprise it’s a group date. This one is for 13 girls. Damn that’s a lot of people. Clearly some will get no attention whatsoever. The girls on the card are: Rachel, Alexis, Vanessa, Jasmine, Jaimi, Sarah, Whitney, Kristina, Astrid, Taylor, Josephine, Danielle M., and Corrine. Again left till the end for dramatic effect. Raven is ecstatic. She calls it a double victory, she gets the one-on-one and Corinne doesn’t. The group is off to a Dairy Farm. Really? How is that a date? Oh maybe they’ll feed baby cows and walk through the fields… Nope…they’re doing chores. Again how is that a date. Now I’ve had arguments with people about this and it’s supposed to show who will do “anything for love” and who will complain and it build character. But honestly, I’d be pissed. Nick didn’t grow up a dairy farmer. He even said he has memories of “playing on the farm” not working. Cut to Corinne talking about how this is a stupid date and she’d rather be at the spa eating tacos, preferably Chicken Tacos. You and me both girl.
When Nick tells them that they are doing farm chores, it cuts to Corinne talking about how she doesn’t even know what regular chores are let alone farm chores and she doesn’t even make Raquel do farm chores. This is why she makes me think she’s Karen from Mean Girls. Hunny, you live in Miami and not on a farm. Of course you don’t make your “Nanny” do farm chores, they don’t exist in your world. The first chore they do is milking cows however most of the girls just stand around watching Nick fail miserably. Like seriously he can’t seem to get a handle of how to do it. It makes me wonder how good Nick is in general with his hands if you catch my drift. Jaimi “I once dated a girl, I have a nose ring” on the other hand is a master of the cow’s udder and gets the milk on the first try. Is she really there for Nick?
Next up they have to shovel poop. This would be where I drew the line. I’m sorry, how is shoveling poop a date thing. I know farmers who wouldn’t make their girlfriends shovel poop as a date, they may ask them to come over and help with chores, but it’s definitely not a date. The girls all complain about it, but think “well it’s for love, I guess I’ll handle crap” Corinne stands around for a while then goes to sit on a rock outside the barn, and all the girls get pissed at her. She mentions that it was a medical emergency and that she couldn’t feel her fingers. It is a possibility that she has Reynauds and her extremely low weight makes the syndrome worse. She even mentions that she’s craving sushi. However, she starts sounding more and more like a child, calling it poop, shit and “poopy”.
After they get cleaned up, I’m sure they all still smell like cow shit though, they go to their group date cocktail party. Where all the girls sit around awkwardly waiting for their time with Nick. Kristina grabs Nick first, he mentions he wants to know about her past, but not right now, how intrigued he is by her and then they make out. What a great romantic date. “Yeah I want to know about you, but shut up let’s make out”. Seriously Nick are you 16?
Next Vanessa gets her turn with Nick. She gives him a gift from her students, suddenly forgetting the ultimatum she gave Nick. Really girl? How are you not bringing that up again if it’s such a problem for you? You are too good for him! The book is adorable. Nick mentions how kind and generous the kids were for allowing their teacher to come onto the show to find love. My only thing is, Nick if you choose her in the end and get married, are you moving to Montreal so she can continue to teach those kids? I don’t see that happening, so she’d have to leave them completely.
Corinne is off on her own and can tell that the other girls are talking shit, so she approaches them and tell them that if they have a problem with her tell her to her face. Oh my god….she’s Chad! Before Corinne can finish her statement/question, Sarah jumps in and asks if Corinne really thinks she’s ready to marry a 36 year old man. Sarah thinks that their maturity levels do not match, because Nick is older and 36 so he must be mature… but wait a minute didn’t I just compare him to a 16 year old? Honestly, Nick is so lacking in maturity, he may be on level with the average 26 yr old. Sarah seems to think that Nick is this wise man, looking for intelligence and doesn’t care about sex as much as he actually does and is still upset with Corinne sleeping through that rose ceremony. Come on! That was last week. Find something new to be upset over. Corinne equates herself at this point to Michael Jordan and Abraham Lincoln because guess what they both took naps! And then apologizes for napping. In terms of Nick, she says just because she’s 24 doesn’t mean she’s not ready to get married and for that matter get married to Nick. She mentions that she stopped the chores because she “almost had to go to the hospital” I don’t think it was that bad…but ok.
Kristina is pissed off by everything being said still and tells her that she alienates herself and hides away. How can you be here and not get along with the other girls. Corinne answers that when she missed the rose ceremony, she had a panic attack and needed to sleep. She gets so frustrated with the conversation, she up and leaves and goes to talk to Nick. She is after all “fighting for a fiancé, not a pickle”.
This exchange between Nick and Corinne is the most cringe worthy and awkward I’ve seen yet. More so than the whipped cream… she tells him how there’s been tension and how she confronted the other girls and he says thank you for telling him and he appreciates it because he’s been on her side of the fence before. They awkwardly hug and she leaves. Cut away, she is so proud of the “adult conversation” they have but finds it strange that they didn’t kiss.
The date rose goes to Kristina, probably because they had the steamiest kiss… whatever. She’ll probably have a one-on-one next week where she may go home.
The Roller Date
Raven wakes up bright and early and gets ready for her date… or so I imagine. She gets to meet Nick’s youngest sister Bella, for her soccer game. What a date. Watching a kids soccer game, but better than farm chores I do say. Nick leads the soccer drills, because why not? They then go to sit on the sidelines to watch the game with his parents. So the reason Raven got this date is because she seems like a good enough girl to introduce to his parents, without making him look immature and stupid? His dad says he likes Raven, she has a cool name and a cool accent, which I’m pretty sure just means that he thinks she’s hot and his son has done well.
After the game, Nick, Bella and Raven go to “Skateland” for the next part of their date. Bella and Raven sit down to have a conversation…really with a 12 year old. Whatever you need to do to impress his family I guess? Bella likes Raven and can’t wait to get another sister-in-law. During the entirety of the conversation, to make sure he still gets camera time, Nick does goofy things in the background while the girls are talking. The 3 of them take to the rink and start roller skating like no tomorrow, and then Nick and Raven make out right in front of Bella.
After the skate date, Nick and Raven meet up again at the Milwaukee Art Museum, for a continuation of this skate date, but in fancier clothes. Seriously, Raven’s style seems like something right out of her own boutique. Oh. My. God… you don’t think the only reason she came on to the show was to promote her store do you? Maybe she thought she could find love along the way too…hmmmmm…. Anyways, Raven tells Nick a story about how she was cheated on and then went bat shit crazy and beat him to a pulp. Nick thought it was endearing… I think she’s just insane. Nick appreciated that the experience helped her to realize her self-worth and that she is worth more than that. She is so happy that Nick has never cheated (but is dating 14 other women). They skate some more and the night ends. Another boring date, other than the psycho girlfriend story from Raven. Oh yeah, she gets the rose for opening up to him.
The Pre-Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party
So Taylor is fed up with everything happening. She gets upset that Danielle L., who has a rose, takes Nick first. She’s already safe so why does she need time. Oh, you know, not because she’s trying to secure her spot for future weeks and solidify more of a relationship, but whatever. Anyways Taylor storms out deciding to stop playing nice and approaches the two almost right away and sends Danielle L. packing. Nick and Taylor have a conversation about nothing and make out. Seems like a pattern here.
Elsewhere, Corinne is stuffing her face, again is she not the female version of Chad (minus the lunch meats), while she’s listening to the other girls talk about how much of a hypocrite Taylor is. She sits there laughing and agreeing while Josephine talks shit about Taylor. This ammunition is just what Corinne needs to have her showdown with Taylor.
Corinne takes Taylor back outside to ask her why she’s been so mean. Taylor says that she thinks that Corinne is “not emotionally intelligent enough for Nick”. Umm Nick isn’t emotionally intelligent, that’s why he needs TV to find “love”. Corinne retaliates that Taylor is playing “Miss Proper” trying to seem older than she is, but is being conniving and rude and back handed the entire time. She feels that she is being called stupid and brings up in her cutaway that Taylor is not holding up to her title of “Mental Health Counsellor” which I’m sure she’s only had for like 6 months because she’s all of 23 and probably just out of school.
They have it out, have their own cutaways, talk shit about each other more, and this is where the episode ends off.
What’s to Come, My Predictions
So next week, they’ll pick up with the fight between Taylor and Corinne, they’ll say some nasty things to each other and about each other in the cutaways. They’ll keep going, you’ll see cuts to other conversations blah, blah, blah. At the rose ceremony, I think 3 girls will be sent home: Jaimi, Jasmine, and either Alexis or Whitney.
I’m sure they’ll whisk off to another fun location, because Milwaukee was so romantic. Nick will have a one-on-one with Kristina, where he may realize he has no real spark with her, and she may not get the rose.
There will be a two-on-one date with Taylor and Corinne, similar to Jojo’s date with Alex and Chad. They will both complain about the other. The time together will be awkward and you’ll see what kind of whiny he will go with. Everyone will be shocked by who goes home. I believe it will be Taylor, because nick still has to sleep with Corinne, and I mean I want to meet Raquel.
The remaining 9 will go on a group date. Slowly the numbers come down.
My front runners based on the person I think Nick is right now are: Danielle L, Raven, Sarah. My favourites are Vanessa and Danielle M. I want him to keep Alexis around just because she’s funny, but they need to focus on her more during the show and stop only showing her during the credits.
See you next week when I review, what I’m sure will be the most “dramatic episode yet”.